ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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