Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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