rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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