no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
