I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
