flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
