8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
