why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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