Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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