sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
