I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
