I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
