Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
