Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
