Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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