you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
