There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
