can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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