if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
