if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
