Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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