it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
