it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
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be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Vodka?
Forever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
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