..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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