This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
wow bdsm is so cute
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
