he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There are leaves in my underwear?
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