Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
