I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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