i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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