ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
