these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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