So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
