all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
