the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
porn star boner night. come get it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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