M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She announced her abortion via fbk
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Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
