Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.

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  (760): Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing. http://tfl.nu/culr
  Replies (29) Good night (852) Bad night (6175)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame

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  (978): my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame http://tfl.nu/nyuc
  Replies (11) Good night (958) Bad night (3212)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

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  (267): i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal http://tfl.nu/wd7r
  Replies (18) Good night (1406) Bad night (4055)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

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  (248): he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was http://tfl.nu/zwm2
  Replies (51) Good night (1157) Bad night (9003)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  you would not believe what I got pierced last night...

  (540): View more from Virginia

  son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.

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  (434): you would not believe what I got pierced last night... (540): son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear. http://tfl.nu/q4w6
  Replies (61) Good night (1945) Bad night (6477)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"

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  (918): As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy" http://tfl.nu/glce
  Replies (9) Good night (3272) Bad night (983)
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  (619): View more from California

  You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.

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  (619): You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer. http://tfl.nu/hqfv
  Replies (2) Good night (2148) Bad night (915)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

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  (519): I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you http://tfl.nu/mvu5
  Replies (6) Good night (3002) Bad night (967)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.

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  (310): Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting. http://tfl.nu/us8p
  Replies (4) Good night (1200) Bad night (602)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.

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  (972): I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy. http://tfl.nu/nung
  Replies (14) Good night (2323) Bad night (578)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book

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  (774): She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book http://tfl.nu/9ezm
  Replies (4) Good night (1042) Bad night (585)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.

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  (617): Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas. http://tfl.nu/mhor
  Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (566)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?

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  (757): pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home? http://tfl.nu/p4vi
  Replies (2) Good night (1378) Bad night (424)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.

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  (419): Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women. http://tfl.nu/y0qe
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (801)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  me + whiskey = a bad person

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  (512): me + whiskey = a bad person http://tfl.nu/4d99
  Replies (0) Good night (511) Bad night (252)

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