i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.