Is that why you're texting me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
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i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?