Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize