so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you win again, gameday.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?