i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he shaved USA in his pubs
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.