Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.

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  (843): Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca. http://tfl.nu/m05t
  Replies (21) Good night (881) Bad night (2838)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!

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  (416): Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro! http://tfl.nu/k0oj
  Replies (86) Good night (1002) Bad night (4963)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

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  (513): god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is" http://tfl.nu/c0jq
  Replies (36) Good night (1431) Bad night (4373)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...

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  (202): if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess... http://tfl.nu/v82v
  Replies (10) Good night (1366) Bad night (2892)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to

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  (267): If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to http://tfl.nu/tvy7
  Replies (59) Good night (5041) Bad night (1351)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.

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  (406): Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns. http://tfl.nu/ywpq
  Replies (42) Good night (6555) Bad night (1105)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.

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  (850): At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me. http://tfl.nu/6dky
  Replies (18) Good night (986) Bad night (3846)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.

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  (218): time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink. http://tfl.nu/47ui
  Replies (15) Good night (4265) Bad night (1330)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already

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  (401): hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already http://tfl.nu/dz2h
  Replies (7) Good night (2868) Bad night (973)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.

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  (646): He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was. http://tfl.nu/uwpx
  Replies (24) Good night (1198) Bad night (5862)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now

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  (203): Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now http://tfl.nu/p7dd
  Replies (2) Good night (1404) Bad night (753)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children

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  (931): I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children http://tfl.nu/92r8
  Replies (4) Good night (1037) Bad night (484)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.

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  (330): this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more. http://tfl.nu/e0jy
  Replies (3) Good night (600) Bad night (333)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.

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  (863): Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond. http://tfl.nu/cdum
  Replies (6) Good night (636) Bad night (185)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.

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  (519): Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer. http://tfl.nu/jep9
  Replies (2) Good night (194) Bad night (413)

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