I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize