I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
