we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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