All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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