Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
now i know why i became what i already was.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
