why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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