I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
