Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
