Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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