either way he was missing a nipple.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
