Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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