hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
