I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
