I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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