Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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