This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
