I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
