Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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