I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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