Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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