My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
