Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
