You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
