what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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