just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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