She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
being pregnant is like rehab
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize