But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
