I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize