What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
