Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
