The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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